She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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