Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
