She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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