hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
