In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
