I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I died a long time ago.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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