I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
