just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
