i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Randomize
