I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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