when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
