I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
