TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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