Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
