Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
