My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
