shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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