Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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