sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Vodka?
Forever.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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