Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize