Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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