90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
