I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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