My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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