Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
