TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
