She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
