Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
