If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize