I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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