i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
