it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
