$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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