Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
