her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
