Having a random hookup so left but love u
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
