Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my shit smells like andre
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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