I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
