you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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