I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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