They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
