Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
