I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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