i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize