He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
