I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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