How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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