Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
