Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
