I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need to calm my uterus...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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