Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize