So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
