need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
