seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
