It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
