I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize