You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
they need to just BURY HIM!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
