I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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