who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
