Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
