Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
