I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
