Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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