I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize