16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
