Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
