areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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